The hardest thing to do in life is to stay positive despite all the hardships, but I have always prided myself on being relatively upbeat. Now with the weight of the world on my shoulders, positivity is almost impossible.
Things were moving along fairly well; we bought a bassinet, received bags of baby clothes from generous friends, and worked on getting our room at Drew’s cousin’s house presentable. Then we got a ticket for a broken headlight and not being registered (which was our fault, but still inconvenient). Then our car stopped running completely, which meant he couldn’t get to work. Many teens trying to get a job know the struggle of “I need a job to get a car, but I need a car to get a job.” Well, this was our case too; we needed a car to get to work and pay for the ticket, but had no way of getting to work.
Thank goodness for helpful strangers. A man noticed us standing outside of Dollar General with unhappy faces and bought our car for $300. It wasn’t a lot, but we would have had to invest much more money into it to get it running just to sell it for the same amount. So hey, no complaints here.
As for the barely minimum-wage job Drew works at with the boss that likes to hand out write-ups like they’re candy, we’re still working on that. My step-dad has worked as a UPS driver for more than 20 years and is currently trying to get Drew’s foot in the door. The only problem there is that the job is up in Napa, so I would only get to see Drew on the weekends, which would not be easy for me considering the countdown to baby is a mere 11 weeks. Sometimes we just have to do things we don’t like in order to make our lives the way we want them later.
The baby is doing well enough. The only problem we have come across is that now I have slight anemia — a deficiency in red blood cells. So along with choking down the horrid fish-tasting prenatal vitamins, I have to take iron supplements as well. It wouldn’t be so bad if only I could remember to take them; pregnancy makes my memory go down the drain.
Sadly, I still have to refer to my son as “the baby” because naming a person is a lot harder than one might suspect. We have a few names picked out, but with us both being severely indecisive, we have yet to settle on one name. We’ll know when we finally see his beautiful face.
I’m becoming so impatient I can hardly stand it. I feel him kick and roll around and get the hiccups and I see his little toes press against my belly and it makes me want to hold him close and make sure nothing bad will ever happen to him. These primitive motherly instincts have kicked in; the overwhelming urge to clean is called nesting and has me itching to vacuum at 1 o’clock in the morning.
School eases some of the impatience, though. I attend school Monday through Thursday from 8 to 11:20. My classes are pretty easy and there’s at most 15 students in each class. I’ve made a few friends, but people mostly look at me from the corner of their eye and make a large space for me to walk in through the crowded hallways. No complaints there either, but I will admit that I miss being a Bruin horribly.
Things are getting hard, but Drew and I love each other more and more every day, the baby is healthy and growing like he should, we have a place to live and food in our stomachs. It’s hard to stay positive, but not impossible. Things could always be much, much worse.