Please Don’t Make Me Run

Emma Garcia, Staff Writer

Please don’t make me be in the rally.

I will pay you money.

Lots of money.

And food.

Do you like Chipotle? Cause I feel like Chipotle.

Cause I’m buying you food and giving you lots of money to keep me from running in the rally.

Why am I so upset and offering money and the glory of a Chipotle burrito to get you to get me out of the rally? Did you really think I wasn’t going to tell you? Have you met me or ever spoken to me? Come on, step up your game. All right. Here it goes.

When people think of high school, they usually say something about the humiliation that it creates. They cite many things, from homework to other kids, but they underestimate the public humiliation running in front of people creates.

It’s different if you’re in a sport people care about. Even football, not exactly our most prestigious sport, gets a nice applause. But golf?

No one cares about golf.

Let’s be clear, I’m not bitter about this. I don’t care that no one cares about golf. It’s better that way. Way better. I do not pretend people care, and in return no one cares that I don’t care that they don’t care. This system is ruined by the continued tradition of forcing all the athletes to run in the rally.

Question: if someone is on Homecoming Court, do the athletes run out with their sports? I doubt it because the girls are always wearing their fancy dresses but still, I thought I’d ask. If they don’t run out with their sports, I have an idea. I would like to be on Homecoming Court next year. Not that otherwise I would want to or be on Homecoming Court, but still. I will campaign. I will make it my mission to not have to run.

Of course, if I’m on court then I have to wear a dress. I have to look nice during the week of the rally and the dance. I also have to go to the dance. This creates an even bigger dilemma. Which type of humiliation would I prefer? Decisions, decisions…