Dear fellow overthinkers,
Do you ever feel like you just have so much in your head and you have no idea how to even begin to get it all out? If you don’t, good, try and stay that way. This rant isn’t for you guys though, I’m talking to the people like me: people who are so filled with thoughts and ideas and imaginary argument in their head that they feel they could explode at any given moment.
This is my life. Maybe it’s a serious issue and I should seek help, or maybe I’m actually just like everyone else just more whiny about it. I don’t know. It’s hard to gage other people’s thoughts and minds and all I know is that I have so much unsaid in my head. And I have a blog, a literal release for my thoughts but I still feel overwhelmed.
I wish everyone just said exactly what they thought when they thought it. Well, maybe not whenever they thought anything because then everyone would be talking at once and no one would be able to hear each other. All I mean is that I wish people were easier to read, or at least didn’t try to hide themselves and whatever they’re feeling. I know I’ve already ranted on honesty, but it’s something really close to me and that I struggle with. There are times when I’ve hidden my feelings and it turned out badly and there are even more times when people aren’t honest with me and it hurts.
Or, at least I think they weren’t honest. I can never really know for sure. I think I have trust issues, which sucks because I want everyone to trust everyone and I firmly believe that no one should be ashamed to tell the truth or what they see as truth.
Life would just be easier if people didn’t attempt to hide things. Feelings, opinions, things unsaid; all these thoughts can build up in our heads and just cause us to lose our minds because these thoughts linger in our head and our heart and are never released, never confronted, never addressed, never finished.
I think that’s why I find drama so appealing. In a movie or a play or a musical you get to hear people’s deepest thoughts and desires and no one hides anything, from you at least. The audience sometimes knows things about a character that other characters don’t, but at least someone besides the character with the feelings knows. At least they were honest with us, the audience. Plus, whatever feelings they may be feeling may also be something the audience can relate to and by someone on a screen or a stage telling us they are going through the same stuff we are we can feel content knowing we aren’t alone. Even if the character is telling us how alone they feel, we may be feeling that too, which is funny because we’re not alone about feeling alone. Well it’s funny to me at least, sheesh.
So if you thought that these rants were helping you to understand all of my deepest thoughts, you’re wrong. Even with all I confess to you, I still keep probably too much to myself. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the endless abyss that is my mind. If you’re scared and confused and freaking out: welcome to my world.