What the Heck is my Blog?

David Hancock, Staff Writer

Dear readers,

To be honest guys, what the heck are you reading?!?

So I’m straight chillin in a Starbucks, wearing a fancy black coat with the collar up and drinking a hot caramel brulee latte while writing in my blog on my not-apple laptop, basically being the most hip hipster in existence right now. Except for the fedora, which I left in the car because Chloe wouldn’t come into the store with me otherwise. I was working on an article I’m supposed to write when I looked back at a blog post from a while back for inspiration. Holy crap.

I honestly have no clue what I’m writing when I write it. I just put the words down as they come and do no re-reading or editing besides spelling and grammar check, and most the time I don’t know what point I’m trying to make until I make it. If future English teachers try to have their kids close-read what I write and they identify sarcasm or polysyndeton or irony, than they officially put more thought into my work than I did. Honestly, I doubt any authors think so hardly about the way they write the way english teachers would have us believe. They don’t think, “Oh heck yeah Imma add some awesome alliteration right here!” when they write their stuff, they just do it.

Writing isn’t a science. There’s no formula for a essay or a great poem or a great book, it just is. It’s not because they use just enough rhetorical strategies or have an amazing purpose or cater perfectly to their audience, writers just write.

Well, maybe, I’m not sure. I can’t speak for all writers because I don’t know all of them. That’d be weird if they all actually did meticulously planned out each syllable and I was the only writer that didn’t. But then I’d be the coolest so that’s okay!

My pinky hurts now. Like, literally ow. Now I forgot what I was writing about. Oh yeah, I was writing about not knowing what to write about. Ok, I remember now.

Seriously though, what am I doing? Why do I write? Why do I write like I’m running out of time? Write day and night like I’m running out of time?

If you didn’t get that reference you need to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack immediately!

But seriously seriously now, David, you gotta chill. Don’t analyze your own writing, don’t judge it by the world’s standards and the weird english rules, just write. Be honest in your writing and you can never be wrong.

I guess if you guys wanna also take my advice to myself you can too.

Sincerely,
David Hancock