Random Line Generator

Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor

Okay so let me explain. JK I won’t lol xD. Have fun!
Two Thoughtful Uncles Talking to the Beat
A Short Story

The first Christmas she could remember was also her best Christmas ever. Jessica Chan looked at the tattered hawk in her hands and felt happy.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her grand surroundings. She had always loved idyllic Upper Boggington with its spewmungous, scandalous swamps. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel happy.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Rob Giantbulb. Rob was a smelly muppet with spiky fingers and red spots.
Jessica gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a tactless, kind, tea drinker with grubby fingers and skinny spots. Her friends saw her as a kooky, kaleidoscopic knight. Once, she had even helped a fair kitten recover from a flying accident.
But not even a tactless person who had once helped a fair kitten recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Rob had in store today.
The snow flurried like cooking owls, making Jessica worried.
As Jessica stepped outside and Rob came closer, she could see the crooked glint in his eye.
“I am here because I want a fight,” Rob bellowed, in a grateful tone. He slammed his fist against Jessica’s chest, with the force of 7578 maggots. “I frigging love you, Jessica Chan.” He didn’t understand what he’d done to her, but he would by the time she was finished
Jessica looked back, even more worried and still fingering the tattered hawk. “Rob, Is that real leather,” she replied. Please try to persuade him to come, for my sake, Jessica thought
They looked at each other with ambivalent feelings, like two fast, frail frogs sitting at a very hopeful holiday, which had reggae music playing in the background and two thoughtful uncles talking to the beat.
Suddenly, Rob lunged forward and tried to punch Jessica in the face. Quickly, Jessica grabbed the tattered hawk and brought it down on Rob’s skull.
Rob’s spiky fingers trembled and his red spots wobbled. He looked anxious, his body raw like a spilt, smiling sausage.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Rob Giantbulb was dead.
Jessica Chan went back inside and made herself a nice cup of tea.
THE END

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