Toilet Talk 101: The Whole Shabang

Sandra Sunio, Staff Writer

It was nearing the end of the summer of 2013. My family and I all had dinner at Boiling Crab for my aunt’s 60th birthday. It was my first time, and I was beyond excited for the pound of crab, shrimp, sausage, corn, and sweet potato fries waiting for us inside. We waited for about two hours outside before we were finally seated.

Fortunately, the food came out fast. We ordered the seafood in THE WHOLE SHABANG sauce. The Whole Shabang is the garlic, lemon pepper, and cajun sauces mixed all together, so it was pretty hot and spicy — nothing I couldn’t handle, though.

We all enjoyed our food and left the place with smiling faces and full stomachs. I never thought I would regret it… until the next day.

The next day was my first day of my freshman year. I thought everything was going great for a first day, until second period. My stomach started to feel queasy, and that’s when I knew that The Whole Shabang hit me, and I needed to let go of the whole shebang immediately.

Honestly, I tried really hard to avoid using the school bathrooms for #2’s, so I tried to distract myself from my stomach’s cry for help. Ten minutes later, I gave in. I needed to go. I had the runs, and I ran.

So, there I was, my first day of freshman year, taking a #2 in the bathroom. The worst part is that when I thought I was done and started to make my way back to class, I turned right back around… and that was my first day of freshman year.

With that,

TOILET TALK 101: Don’t eat too much of The Whole Shabang marinated seafood at The Boiling Crab the day before school, unless you have a really high tolerance for spicy foods. Also, if you’re at school and you have to go, go. Although you may feel really embarrassed like me, it’s natural, and it’s actually really unhealthy to hold it in, so be like Elsa, and let it go.