Dear Santa Letter

Jazlyn Bo, Student

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a 4.0 G.P.A. Finals are coming up and the semester is ending soon and my grades are just as bad as the racism, sexism, and homophobia present today in our society. I know, I know, it’s my responsibility but these grades are going on my transcript and I might as well sign up for a job at that one night club now. I’m failing in majority of my classes like how half of America has failed to realize what a horrible person our President is. I don’t think you know how difficult it is to balance sports, clubs, hobbies, family time, personal achievements, personal development, self-discovery, friendships, developing skills and traits, sleep, mental stability, health stability, helping the community, relationships, possible hidden skills for future careers, fun, BASIC HUMAN NECESSITIES, and Keeping Up With the Kardashians with school work. Like seriously, is Kylie Jenner pregnant or not?

I haven’t had a full night’s rest in FIVE MONTHS and I’m going crazy. I take two hour naps and still feel tired. Can somebody overdose on sleep? I wouldn’t know because I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN FIVE MONTHS. You know what? Maybe in order to keep up with my grades and school work I’ll just quit sports, clubs, my hobbies, relationships, and any form of action that will further develop my skills, fun, and happiness. That’s it! That’s the only solution! Santa, all I want for Christmas is a bunch of coffee, Red Bulls, and 5 Hour Energy bottles because I won’t be sleeping anytime soon. Forget my mental health and happiness, I’m going to Stanford! No, Harvard! Brown!

I think I’m willing to give up my entire life for some A’s. I need to get into a good University in order to have a career in order to be financially stable in order to have a house and provide for my family. Wait a minute. What career? What do I even want to do? Wait another minute, what house? How will I keep up and pay my bills? How do I do taxes? How do I care for a family? Eh, I’m sure I’ll be fine. At least I know how to find what x equals when solving a quadratic using the quadratic equation which is b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four times a times c divided by 2 times a.

So Santa, just send those drinks on over and I’ll thank you in the future when I’m paying bills and taxes using the Pythagorean Theorem, which is a squared plus b squared equals c squared. I hope my kids will speak perfect English using rhetorical strategies as they enter the real world where they need to identify whether the person they are having a conversation with has used metaphors and juxtapositions in their sentences. I sure do hope that America doesn’t make the same mistake as Europe did as I learned in history class. I will make sure to vote for the right officials to make sure America is in good hands. Wait, how do I vote? That’s okay I’ll just Google it.

Love always,

A struggling student who is prepared to drop out <3