Learn your love language

Dejonae Richards, Staff Writer

People like being loved in different ways; some prefer being told they’re beautiful over receiving a gift, while others simply enjoy spending time with their significant other more than kissing.  These preferences help determine one’s love language.

“My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling is that there are five emotional love languages, the five ways that people speak and understand emotional love,” Gary Chapman, marriage counselor and author of the book “The 5 Love Languages,” said.

The five types of love language are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  According to Chapman, someone’s love language is what’s most important to them in a relationship.

If someone’s love language is words of affirmation, they love to hear how much they mean to someone.  Hearing why someone loves them is very important to them, but insults are crushing and hard to forget for this person.

Those whose love language is quality time would rather spend time with their significant other and just talk, or hang out while watching TV rather than anything else.  If the significant other is distracted a lot, postponing dates, or the failing to listen, this can be especially hurtful for the other person.

If someone’s love language is receiving gifts, this does not mean they are materialistic. They thrive on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind gifts.  A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous, just like the absence of everyday gestures.

If someone’s love language is acts of service, easing their burdens and responsibilities will show them love.  They see going out of the way for them to help them with something more meaningful than anything else in this world.

Those who prefer physical touch as their form of love language don’t just care about sex, they cherish hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder or face.  Physical touch gives a sense of security and belonging in the relationship, while feeling neglected or abused, can be unforgivable and destructive to the relationship.

To determine one’s love language, take the love language test, available on www.5lovelanguages.com.

“I like when a guy compliments me and spends time with me,” junior Erica Hamilton said.  Although Hamilton’s love language sounds like words of affirmation or quality time, after she took the test she learned physical touch is her love language.  So that calls into question whether the test is wrong or does Hamilton just not know herself that well?

“I like to spend quality time with my significant other more than anything else because that’s how you really get to know that person,” junior Alonzo Phelps said.  When Phelps took the test, his results matched what he believed his love language was, quality time.

“I think words of affirmation is my love language,” junior Amanda Perez said.  After she took the test she scored quality time.  “I can agree with it because spending time with someone lets you get to know them.”

At the end of the day everyone believes in being shown love in different ways, from getting gifts to holding hands.  Chapman says that it is important to know and speak the love language of a significant other to ensure the relationship will last and be filled with happiness.