‘Gay-borhoods’ and ‘gay-uillontines’ will eradicate this plague of homosexuality

Ryan Duff, Guest Writer

Any fellow Americans who are as loyal to this country as I am know that the past several years have seen advancements of the homosexual agenda which testify to the dying nature of our country. Time and time again the gays have made gains that continue to threaten the very ideals that this country was founded on, and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t felt the effects of recent legislations in my own personal life. Ever since the legalization of same-sex marriage, my second wife Karen and I have faced hard times, as if every homo-marriage weakens our sacred bond further. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, our youngest son recently fell victim to the wicked teachings of the BLT community and has decided that he, too, wishes to be gay. Despite multiple attempts at rehabilitation through electro-shock therapy he insists this is the lifestyle he wants to live, and my only hope is that we may find a solution to this growing problem before more people like him are allowed to raise children in such harmful and toxic environments. It is my belief that we must consider a plan to resolve this gay issue which plagues our country before it spreads even further.

It was during my recent vacation in Paris that I made a profound realization about the world. I found myself enraptured by the beauty of the art that is preserved there, and it didn’t take me long to unearth why. The finest of culture and art that we acknowledge in this world come from the past, and in the past, of course, there were no homosexuals. It was this very lack of gays which allowed heterosexuals to thrive and create wonders that we still revere to this very day. Only the keen eye of a heterosexual such as DaVinci himself could capture the beauty that is exhibited in the world-famous Mona Lisa. It is my belief that we must make efforts to take back the power from our homosexual oppressors and return things to the way God intended them to be; as it is, of course, our duty as Americans to carry out the will of God.

The plan that I have crafted is simple; the first step involves identifying the threat. Each homosexual, along with any others who support their agenda, shall be made to wear an identifying mark upon their clothing. The most obvious choice, it seems, for such a mark would be their beloved rainbow considering that it is distinct enough not to appear on normal clothing and easily recognizable. This will allow the pure of this world to easily identify and avoid the gays, and remain safe from their evils. Then, after some time, when it seems that a majority of the gays have been identified, we will relocate them into specially designated gay-borhoods.

These gay-borhoods will be structurally and functionally identical to any other residential area, with the only difference being the 4,000 volts of electricity which will separate it from the pure world. In theory this move will actually benefit all parties involved, allowing those who insist on following the homosexual agenda to intermingle while the pure remain safe on this side of the fence. To limit their effect on the outside world even further, gay-borhoods will remain on lockdown at all hours with outside visitors only permitted during “happy hour” (5:00-7:00 pm) with strict security regulations. It is my belief that these efforts will help somewhat to curb the spread of homosexuality, and return our society to its former glory.

If, of course, these measures are not enough, which is likely to be the case, and the gay-borhoods are unsuccessful in halting the spread of homosexuality, then there is one last part to my plan which I have quite ingeniously dubbed The Hindmost Solution. If gays will not remove themselves from our society then they must be removed by force. In the event of the Hindmost Solution it would be necessary to set up “gay-uillotines” within the gay-borhoods in order to eliminate the rotten breed once and for all. Just as within the French Revolution, when the Monarchs resisted and took back their power from the bourgeoisie, it is time for us to regain control of our society. Through the elimination of the homosexuals we can return power to the great Heteros of this country. It is time to let the Michaelangelo’s and DaVinci’s of today flourish, and break free from the restrictive bonds of the homosexual persuasion.