Dear Santa: From a loyal vegan

Alisa Aistrup, Feature Editor

Dear Santa,
I was initiated to the cult of veganism on March 3rd of this year, and it was the greatest decision I’ve made in my entire life. I was reborn on that very day, baptized into a greener, healthier realm; I became a new and improved version of myself. All I ask for this holiday season is for everyone in the world to go vegan, even if you have to assemble a militia of elves to force people to convert.

In the process of saving animals’ lives, we can save the North Pole from melting due to climate change, making it possible for you to continue supplying presents to children for eons to come. May I suggest veganism to you, as well? It will help you with your weight loss journey, Santa, and your body will thank you for the change. Plus, no vegan ever misses meat or dairy products in the slightest! I certainly don’t! My mouth didn’t water looking at the turkey during this Thanksgiving at all! I actually want a cheese platter and some bacon for Christmas, don’t tell my Food Therapist.

I’ll be waiting for the Great Conversion, big guy,
Alisa Aistrup

(P.S. To begin your journey to veganist enlightenment, I have provided you with some vegan-friendly cookies and almond milk.)

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