Dear Santa: outlaw anime


Gabriella Backus

Illustration by Gabriella Backus

Gavin Orsi

Dear Santa,

I’m writing to you this year to tell you that I’ve had enough. It is imperative to me that you make anime illegal. I am sick and tired of turning on my phone, opening any social media, only to see people with anime profile pictures, taking pictures of themselves wearing anime-themed clothes and hearing my friends talk about anime this, anime that. Every. Single. Day. I’m telling you, something needs to be done. When I leave my house to go to the store, I encounter loads of people wearing anime masks, anime sweatshirts, anime headbands, you name it. Ridiculous. I even see some cars with anime wraps on them! On people’s cars. It’s gone too far. Last night, I couldn’t sleep because the image of someone’s anime mouse pad was burned into my retina. Please Santa, I’m begging you. Get rid of anime once and for all, so the world can be a happier place.

From the bottom of my heart,

Gavin Orsi