Dear Santa: buy me a house


Gabriella Backus

Illustration by Gabriella Backus

Eileen Tran

Dear Santa,

I’m not asking for much this year compared to the past 15 years. I’m just asking for the house on 10697 Somma Way, Los Angeles, CA 90077. It’s just $78,000,000. That’s it, just one thing this year. It’s an easy gift to give, you just need to give me the papers for it. No, I’m not going to live in it, that’s absurd! I’m renting it out! So think of it as a gift to me and somebody else. If you don’t want to get me the house, then I guess I could give you another option. I guess you can give me a Quantum of Solace yacht, it’s cheaper than the house: only $58,000,000 right now! $20,000,000 cheaper than the house! Anyways, I hope you get me the house because I really like the black kitchen. 

Thanks. I guess. 

Eileen Tran.