If I were a fictional character, I’d be Ginny Weasley
Kylie Yamada, Feature Writer
March 15, 2017
Who would I be if I was a fictional character? I would probably be a combination of Alina Starkov from the Grisha Trilogy (one of my favorite book series) and Phoebe Heyerdahl from Hey Arnold (because Liz says it works). Alina Starkov is the main character of the book series, and has the unique ability...
Whenever it rains cats and dogs
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
February 22, 2017
Whenever it rains cats and dogs, I always find it to be a PURRfect time to relax at home on my bed. I try my best to stay inside, but school forces meow-t of the house. It’s ne-fur a fun time going out while it rains, and I find it quite CAT-astrophic. Whenever I find myself ruining my own day or it’s...
ALL TEH JOAKS BRUH!!!!!1!11!1!!!!
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
February 8, 2017
I was driving down the street one day then all of a sudden… I just stopped. Maybe it was SIGN I love deer but i don’t really caribou-t them Where do spiders go to see if they’re sick? Web MD Why did the lamb not want to speak in front of his class? He felt a bit sheepish Why did...
If I were a fictional character, I’d be Hamlet.
David Hancock, Staff Writer
February 8, 2017
If I were a fictional character, I’d be Hamlet. I’m not saying I’d want to be Hamlet. If I could be any fictional character I’d pick someone cooler like Spider-Man or Luke Skywalker or something fantastic like that, but that’s not realistic. I’m more like Hamlet than any other fictional...
Strange Addictions #1
Emma Snyder, Staff Writer
February 1, 2017
Like the TV show “My Strange Addictions”, readers of this article would be surprised by the weird things people love. Some strange addictions are dangerous, some are funny, and some are really just so strange that you can’t wrap your head around. The official definition of addiction according...
Why do you always buy things from an astronaut
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
January 18, 2017
Why do you always buy things from an astronaut? Because their products are always out of this world Sorry I tend to love outer space puns because I'm a star! I don't planet to go this way But when I say puns like this I always ROCKET Is the sun heavy? No, it's light! Why did the star go...
I study for my math tests but I’m failing… I guess things just aren’t adding up
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
December 14, 2016
I study for my math tests but I’m failing… I guess things just aren’t adding up If you had to think about what that pun meant, I think you’re calcuLATE I’m not trying to be MEAN, just AVERAGE I had vacation and became really unorganized and messy… I guess it’s because i had NO CLASS Where...
DIY Candy Surprise
Rachel Dinh-Lopez, Staff Writer
December 14, 2016
Christmas is less than twenty days away and in honor of low-budget students looking for creative, inexpensive gifts, I’ve decided to DIY a sweet and easy mason jar gift: Candy Surprise. You will need: Mason jar Candy of your choice Hot glue gun Hot glue stick Construction paper Tape Surprise...
What happened to the bullet that got in trouble at work
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
December 7, 2016
What happened to the bullet that got in trouble at work? He was FIRED (Sorry if this joke TRIGGERS some people) what happened to the bread that didn't finish his chores? He was toast Sorry were you not bread-y for that pun? I loaf(love) puns like that They're a real slice But my puns have been...
What do you call a bird that’s not good at social interactions?
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
December 1, 2016
What do you call a bird that’s not good at social interactions? HAWKward What do you call someone when they finish ironing? imPRESSed What do you call a fruit that can blend in really well into its surroundings? chaMELON (chameleon) What do lambs say when they’re disgusted? Ewe What...
DIY Butterbeer
Lily Tran, Feature Editor
November 23, 2016
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them just came out this past weekend and in honor of new films set in the Wizarding World, I’ve decided to DIY a famous and popular wizarding drink: butterbeer! You will need: Measuring spoons/cups Blender Freezer Stove Saucepan Butterbeer Base Ingredients: 1...
What do you do when love dies?
Erin Baquiran, Photography Editor
November 16, 2016
What do you do when love dies? You amourn I love air conditioners I think they're FANtastic What did the cactus say to the well-dressed porcupine? Hey you're looking sharp! Why is fruit juice always so good at school? They're very concentrated How did Benjamin franklin feel when he...
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